The Anti-How To Live In The Forest (aka: The Anti Chrislexa dot whatever nonsense) Site
you two evil bastards.
the ANTI-CHRISLEXA / "HOW TO LIVE IN THE FOREST" B.S. WEBSITE
Perhaps it has come to your attention that a certain "website" named "how to live in the forest" has sprouted up over the net. Here is the link. I hate this site. It's pure rubbish. Just look at it. The people who made this site are talentless bums. What a waste of the internet's resources. I mean they could have put up information that has a basis in reality. Instead we get some dorky jargon. If this isn't a reason to hate everything, I really don't know what is.
This site, however, is the best site you'll ever see (ok maybe not, but it's nowhere near as shitty as chrislexa.tripoo.shit). In fact, i guarantee this site will generate more traffic, by probably like 4 visitors a month. But who cares. Lets pry into this site, sickening layer by sickening layer.
THE BEGINNING
I'm not really sure that they know what theyre doing. Their website has NOTHING to do with "living in the forest", yet that is it's title. What a bunch of horseshit. I bet the people who made this crappy ass website don't even know how to function outside their basements.
THEN they claim "you are dumb. we make you smart. yes we do.". Wow, how do you go about making us smart? By wasting my time on useless crapfests like yours? Or by the sheer idiocy of your webpage? And folks i havent even gone through the whole fucking site.
Next you'll see on the left side the most immature and possibly most "faggoty" poem i've seen in years:
"we're here to tell you an adventurous tale
of the high seas, leprosey, alcohol and jail.
let me introduce you to nick, a small little fella
with one glasseye and an arm shaped like an umbrella.
then theres christine, with one wooden peg leg
who just got with six midgets, but shes not one to brag.
then there is alexa, with a fetish for bees,
who flies around buzzing and makes honey in trees.
lastly theres tristan, who dates only cucumbers
if you're green and single, he'll ask for your number.
the adventurous tale will be told in due time
but first off, learn how to be cool, and everything will be fine.
Wow you guys...real waste of time. Pity NO ONE cares who the hell those people mentioned are. Why not just write a poem about a pig having anal sex with a tree stump. It would basically be the same.
then we are greeted with this picture ------>
WOW A FOOT. THATS THE STUPIDEST THING I'VE SEEN EVER. AND I SAT THROUGH THE AGONY THAT WAS "GIGLI"
So then we proceed to read about how this is actually a foot fetish website. How splendorous. Look for yourself:
Welcome to Club Foot!
We're here to promote the new styles in foot fashion, all the way from paris! club foot is all the rage and we suggest that you either dive back into yer mothers womb and be born with this hott handicap, or dance up a storm at da clubs. peace.
HOW TO BE COOL:
32 easy steps.
-change your name to 'something'-itty 'something'.
-eat a lot of fried chicken, until you become fried chicken.
-dye your hair brown.
-tell adventurous tales of the high seas, leprosey, alchol and jail.
-join club foot.
And these idiots don't even have the courtesy to actually give us 32 steps. Plus their ranting about how great they will make you comes off like some sort of a late-night infomercial. TRASH I SAY!
And their steps are pretty flawed too. The only person I know with "-itty" something is Ribbity Ray...and well here's a pic of the freak himself. Is that cool to them? A fish inside your pants, shirtless and clearly tying off to inject heroin into one's veins? Thats not only stupid, but dangerous. More proof that this site must go.
THEN they say "eat alot of fried chicken, until you become fried chicken". Even though that statement makes no sense, I think it's a stab at some anti-black humour. So now we see that not only are they a foot fetish website, but a racist one at that. Sickening.
When they said "dye your hair brown" i'm sure they ment to dye your hair blonde.
"tell adventurous tales of the high seas, leprosey, alchol and jail." Do I need to explain the stupidity of this?
NO I DON'T
Please view this image for another shocking truth about chrislexa.tripod.com's creators.
